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They survived! |
Here's the letter, from 1986:
Dear Madeleine,
The
following items, taken as a whole, indicate a lack of responsibility in your time
with us. We like you, and wish that our arrangement could have worked.
The children were not always supervised.
Last week when I came home, Austin was sitting on Eddy’s bed, drinking hand
lotion. Eddy had no clothes on, and he and Michael had taken three bags of
clothes from the very top of his closet and spread them all over the room. They
stuffed the plastic bags down the furnace vent. You were in the family room,
laying on the couch and watching TV. You said, “I can’t watch them every
minute.” The boys had also gotten into the freezer and left popsicles in the
laundry room and garage… What a mess! You also said that you can’t get Eddy to
do what you want him to do. This is not reasonable, because he is only four
years old, and he has always been able to follow instructions from other
adults. Eddy said that you hit him in the head. The children don’t seem to like
you, and you don’t seem to like them. The telephone bills show that you have
spent many hours not watching the children. The calls were often 30-45 minutes
long.
Dangerous situations have arisen due to
your presence. Your cigarette lighter is continuously left where children can
reach it. We continue to find cigarette butts on the ground where the children
can get them. We have had to remind you to close your door on many occasions.
You left an insulin needle on the table, with the door open. You left marijuana
on top of the sewing machine. Drugs are both illegal and dangerous, and have no
place in someone’s home without their permission.
You show lack of financial responsibility.
You incurred phone charges of $153 in one month, and you have no way to pay the
bill. Your friend visited and by the end of the visit she had no money to
return home. Bill loaned her $10. You did not return your library books on
time. You later indicated that you did not return them because you did not have
the money to pay the fines. You forgot your key and broke a screen to get into
the house at 4:00 in the morning. You said that it was too late, and didn’t
want to wake anyone.
A sense of personal responsibility is
lacking. We have observed you eating many foods very high in sugar, like
yogurt, cookies, and wine coolers. You indicate that it’s okay, because you
take insulin. Our knowledge of diabetes does not agree with your analysis. If
you want to live a long, healthy life, you should take better care of yourself.
You like to stay out all night. You do not agree with our insistence that you
be home by 1:00 on nights when you have to take care of the children the next
morning. You say that you do not need much sleep. It is impossible to be alert
all day when you have had little sleep the night before. After we had our
discussion of you either leaving or dramatically improving, you immediately
asked if it would be ok for you to stay out later that night, “only until 3:00.”
The choice was yours, to follow the rules or live somewhere else. You came in ½
hour late, at 1:30. The next morning you did not get up at 7:00 as requred. I
finally woke you up at 7:15 because I couldn’t wait any longer.
You have to be told what to do. This lack
of initiative is frustrating. You are quite willing to say, “What can I do?”
but you seem unable to look around you to see what needs to be done. For
example, when the garbage gets full, you might take it out.
You have shown potential in some areas,
and you should work to continue your progress. For example, you have attended
your English classes. After our discussion, you made an effort to play with the
children. Eddy mentioned that he had a good time playing house.
We hope you use your experiences to grow
and be successful in whatever you do.
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